31 Comments
User's avatar
Catherine Cooper's avatar

For a while now, Barbie, I’ve been trying to live my life like a cancer survivor without having cancer. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Carpe diem

Barbara Mahany's avatar

that's the genius, isn't it? to live full throttle without needing the electro-shock of hearing those words......

Meg Kissinger's avatar

My jaw is agape. I love this essay VERY much. I can just see you floating down the river, casting off the oars. And I want to be on the next raft. As for capitalization: I’m a fan. Your writing is so beautiful, the lack of them distracts me a bit. I say “Shift away, Baby.”

Barbara Mahany's avatar

we now have two votes FOR (the shift key employment agency), and zero against. the caps are taking the lead.....

Karen Furnweger's avatar

A quick editorial comment from the old, self-styled decapitator editor, who hewed to the ChiMano'Style in the never-ending campaign against the cascade of capricious capitalization: Stick with lower case. (For observers of such things, do cap a full sentence after a colon, but not an incomplete one.) The thought at work was that capitalizing a common noun made it more important. There were nights when I left the office itching to disable every shift key on every computer. Better to be on the style side of e.e. cummings than DJT. I also think that caps, especially extraneous ones (which you would never use) are visual clutter. Your lower-case meanderings are easy on the eyes, leaving more energy for our hearts and minds to absorb your wisdom. I have always appreciated your distinctive lower-case style, and I hope you continue with it.

Love, the grumpy old editor

Barbara Mahany's avatar

dear realist editor! first, what a lovely defense. so far the Caps are beating the Littles/Lowers, and in my head i’ve been pondering the Case for Both Cases, especially the one for which reach is required. your comparison of DJT and e.e. surely adds oomph to one side of the equation (need you guess which?!?!?). i think i might be leaning into Misters Strunk & White, who remind over and over: clarity is everything. will reach judicious verdict, i promise. all sides and cases duly considered. xox

Nancy Pardo's avatar

Am trying hard to learn all this. Thank you, as always, for sharing your wisdom.

As for capitals, lowercase has been your trademark. Curious what is making you think of changing?

Barbara Mahany's avatar

i sorta realize it's harder to read. um, and i am always slow to the uptake. i know my from-the-heart emails will still be lower case, but maybe just maybe i need to reach toward the printmaker's upper drawer, the one where the less commonly used larger letters were kept.

denill5462's avatar

As a stickler for details, I do love a well placed Capital letter. I also like your fervent reminders to carpe diem. Cancer or not, time is marching on for all of us. As a recent retiree, I am well aware of making good use of the time while the body is willing and able.

Barbara Mahany's avatar

i love how you say that: "a well placed Capital letter." i promise to place in the right place. once i exercise the finger muscle that will reach for that shift key....

Laura House's avatar

Let's drop our aprons and rush to get matching ink with the following:

time, you’ve found out, is your luxury—not your due

It's a dare for the next time I'm in town and ring you for a last-minute visit. Love you. xo

Barbara Mahany's avatar

love YOU, my sweet sweet LH. can mine be in crayon?

Ronit Levy's avatar

As always, you have a way to touch my heart ( and many others) with your wisdom, honesty and the ability to write so beautifully.Thank you!

Not using Caps has never bothered me, so go with whatever you feel is right for you . Sending hugs

Barbara Mahany's avatar

i love finding you here, beautiful Ronit. xox

Ronit Levy's avatar

Thank you for the link that brought me here. Now I will never miss your postings

Diane's avatar

Love you Dear Barbie……..Caps or no caps keep filling our souls with your beautiful and compelling Prose. Xoxo 🩷

Barbara Mahany's avatar

❤️❤️❤️ love you right back!!!!

Sheila O'Bra's avatar

Each week you touch my heart with your wisdom. No capitalization is my vote. Just keep on writing and sharing.

Barbara Mahany's avatar

well, you just melted mine. bless you. and thank you.

David Mahany's avatar

Your nephew will read next week a short story by Sherwood Anderson. That author revolutionized American short stories and influenced Ernest Hemingway and William Faulkner.

Anderson’s gravestone, designed by Wharton Esherick, bears his epithet, “life not death is the great adventure.”

Julie Vassilatos's avatar

Look, you've plunged into social media, so how radical is it now to occasionally use capitals? I feel like every shift after this first seismic move is no big deal. And wow, do I love the image of floating in a river and dropping the oars. !!

I too have thought and written about how we actually have so little agency, really, over much of anything at all, and my tiny view into this is through the Orthodox practice of fasting. Cancer, or TB, ups the ante, makes it all real, and not like Sunday school flannel graphs. Thanks for this beautiful, real, lived meditation.

Barbara Mahany's avatar

Oh, Jules….we have been reading each other across so many years now. Your thoughts are always such an incredible warm, deep embrace. I write to be in conversation, so thank you for chiming in. And thank you Substack for making it a wee bit easier to do so. Yes, I think the shift key is just part of the natural evolution. Maybe part of it too is owning what I write, letting it occupy the full space rather than hiding behind my wee little (somewhat shy) letters….

Julie Vassilatos's avatar

shy letters! How adorable is that image? Your letters, anyway the ones thusly arranged personally, have been sashaying about for two decades now in a blog and six books and may be as loud and brassy as they please. Also thank you for being a reader of my shy and rarely seen letters

Barbara Mahany's avatar

til death do us part, baby!

Cynthia Fey's avatar

Thank you, Barbara! How lovely to experience your gorgeous word craft and how important to remember this message of our fleeting presence.

Nancy Chadwick, Writer's avatar

Beautiful essay, Barb. When we are pulled into the infirma, I can't help but retreat to thoughts of terra firma, a place where we learned of connection and belonging and security. . . our childhood homes, perhaps. (Caps for me, btw!)

Nancy Grant's avatar

love this & you!!

Barbara Mahany's avatar

and love YOU in return, sweet soul. xox (and i miss you!)

David Mahany's avatar

beautiful. on the topic of rapture, Matisse images came to mind. I tried to paste it but alas...a reason to go the Art Institute of Chicago!

Barbara Mahany's avatar

blessedly i have a vivid eye in my mind and your mere mention brought matisse images clear into view. maybe if you come to chicago we can pack lunches, buy train tickets and go there together. a brother and sister drinking in rapture....

Katie Johnson's avatar

This is so very beautiful, especially coming into a weekend. Time is not a promise, it's a gift, every day. Thank you for sharing this!